Back in the day...

This past Monday I traveled back to Virginia Tech. This was the first time I had been there since I graduated 5 years ago. Tech’s football program really came alive in the years that I attended school there. Michael Vick, who was on Thursday indicted by a grand jury on charges dealing with pit-bull fighting, put Tech on the national sports scene map. (Tech has had a great football team since before the Bruce Smith days, but it wasn’t until Vick arrived that the school received nationwide attention for the wins at Lane stadium) It was an exciting and wild time to be in Blacksburg. I always had bragging rights with high school friends about my school’s football team. Tech at that time seemed to be everyone’s favorite and the bandwagon got bigger and bigger.



I wasn’t at all surprised when upon returning to Blacksburg I found myself getting lost. When I graduated expansion had already started to explode. Many of the old streets and roads are filled with new and newly renovated shopping centers and businesses. Blacksburg now even boasts a Starbucks coffee. (I can’t seem to escape the high priced medium Mocha latte) New campus buildings have gone up everywhere with the same patented Hokie stone. While I was on campus, however, it took me over thirty minutes to find the English department. It had apparently moved a couple of times and in my pursuit I only ran into science students who quickly replied that they had no idea where the English department was and hoped that it was the furthest thing from them. I snickered. English majors get no love, especially at a technological school.

Much of the intrigue, anxiousness, and excitement I felt about returning to Tech was, sadly, in regards to the massacre on April 16. A couple of days after the shootings took place and my mind was exhausted from the in-your-face TV coverage and often vulgar New York Post headlines, I decided to talk with some of my students about what happened. One group of high schoolers with whom I spoke was either very distraught or very unaffected. A few students claimed that the incident was a random act that could have happened anywhere and at any school or college in the States. Other students stated the south must be a crazy place since stuff like that never happens in the city. I replied that people are killed, beat up, and//or robbed probably hourly in the city. But, they said, you never hear about massacres in the hood in which one person goes on a shooting rampage, like at Tech. Those students claimed that violent crime in their neighborhood was often territorial and isolated. They even said much or most of the violence is based on gang interactions and gang affiliation.

(Being a part of a group is very essential to a teen’s existence. ET – also known as entertainment – groups have been the “in” thing this past academic school year. Students choose a gang to affiliate with, but not to be an official member. That means that student may wear beaded necklaces which are a certain color that is associated to that gang. ET groups may also attend gang parties or events without still being in the gang itself. ET groups also often give props to these gangs on their infamous MySpace page. The danger with the ET groups is that there’s that thin line that divides just hangin’ out with someone and being associated with for what he/she stands. Also, the ET groups seem like a mere stepping-stone to becoming a gang member. This whole phenomenon just proves how group affiliation is essential to a teen’s survival and existence.)

Now, moving back to the topic of the incident at Tech and my students’ reflections. With the last point the students made about violence being related to gang action, I asked how many of them felt safe in their neighborhoods. Some said yes. Some said no. So, I said, isn’t that a form of violence in itself? Violence is not just physical abuse, it can also be the feeling of being threatened as well. Do gangs and gang affiliation groups create a sense of belonging I asked? Absolutely. But, I said if it is at the expense of someone else’s sense of safety is that fair? I was trying to challenge their belief that ET groups were merely harmless and for fun. I don’t have the answer I said. I just wanted them to challenge what they think they know to find the truth for them. I asked them about their expectations for college in regards to safety. They said it should be a safe place. What does that mean? They were painting beautiful pictures of campuses filled with green grass and open lawns, romantic school buildings, a diverse student body. Sound familiar? Do you think Tech was safe? No way, they said. How can a dude enter campus like that and nobody say nothin’? So, is any place completely safe? No, they said. Was this going where I thought it was gonna go, I thought? Often it doesn’t, but you just keep at it.



I also spoke with a group of middle school students about the massacre. This lesson just reaffirmed for me the differences in their age groups. As I was introducing how our discussion would take place Mary was trying to get Leonela’s attention to ask her how her hair looked. Emily interrupted me every 3 seconds to ask another question. Marlon and Luis were silently gigglin’ about somebody lettin’ one rip in the corner, and Josh was doodling on his notebook, which I had asked him not to do at least 5 million times in April alone. Oh, boy, I thought. Where would this go? I felt myself getting very frustrated. I went to this school where this terrible tragedy took place, it’s all over the news, can’t these kids have a little decency, I thought, and just take it seriously, for once. My thoughts spiraled like that for a good ten minutes. My approach, looking back at this, was to dictate to them how I wanted them to feel and think about what happened. That’s not realistic teaching. It’s easy to look back at this and realize. Teaching is not dictating, it’s bringing the kiddies to the water to let them figure out how to drink. My emotions for what happened got the best of me.

And what emotions are those? My Dad and I ate Italian subs at a new restaurant on Main Street, just below the bar that I worked at during my junior and senior year at Tech. It was raining. It was a bit chilly. I was thinking about what Tech clothing apparel I would buy for Ma and Jazzy, and then it hit me: the in-your-face TV coverage and grotesque photos from the Post. The first of the shootings occurred at the same dormitory where I spent time hanging out and sneaking in booze my freshman year. The shooter’s dorm room was in the same building that I lived in during my sophomore year. The location of the remaining shootings was in the same building that I sat through English and Spanish classes just 5 years ago. It was still raining. Later in the day the sun came out and shined. It was muggy. I fondly remember a day during my senior year in which I went to class in the morning wearing shorts and a short sleeve shirt. It was blazing hot for April. After my class the sky became mysteriously dark and the wind began to blow. I entered another class. An hour later I returned outside to an inch of snow on the ground and pouring snowflakes from the sky. I think something like 6 inches fell. Some things you can’t explain. I feel for and pray for the victims and the victims’ families. I feel for and pray for the shooter – who is also a victim – and his family. I hope and pray that my kids and our society can find some kind of peace with our unpredictable and mysteriously beautiful world. GO HOKIES!!!!!